When you told me that you had heard from a friend something a certain girl had said about you that was unkind, I sat you down and gave you the best advice I could think of. This morning, when I woke I wanted to write that advice down as best as I can remember it.

It doesn’t matter if you are the nicest kid in the class, at some point you’ll become the target of someone’s frustrations. Certain kids will find something about you to take a jab at. It has always been this way, and it always will be, I suppose. The reason for this may have to do with a child’s innate need to make themselves feel better about who they are and the easiest way to do that is to knock someone else down. It may have to do with something that the child is dealing with at home. It may be a combination of all sorts of factors. Whatever the reason, it’s going to happen, so you will have to learn to cope with it.

I know that it is not easy. I remember being made fun of for all kinds of things. My hair cut, the clothes I wore, a poor performance on a test, etc. Looking back now, these trivial jabs actually make me laugh, in a sort of nostalgic fondness for my youth, which may seem strange, but you will one day see. Small things may seem heavy in the moment, however, they all lose their weight over time.

But here you are, a grade schooler in the thick of it, so what to do now? One counter to this sort of behavior is to always be kind and respectful to others. And be careful not to gossip. If you can do these things they will help ensure healthy and long lasting relationships with your peers. As I have told you time and time again, if you are kind to people, you’ll have more friends over the course of your life than you can possibly imagine.

I know there will be times when it is difficult to be kind. Times when the cruelty directed at you is unfair and hurtful and hard to endure. In such situations, a measured silence is often the best response. Lean on your mom and me. Sit down with us, tell us what’s going on and how you feel about it. We’ll listen, offer you the best advice we can, wrap you in a hug and love you with all of our hearts. We are always there for you. Don’t ever forget, in our eyes, you are each the most special person in the whole world.

In my observations, you seem to handle these things very well. Your mom and I have heard the same from teachers and parents. The kindness you show others proves to me that you are a force for good in this world. In fact, I am more proud of your kindness and compassion than anything else, as it is far more important than any solitary achievement, regardless of how grand that achievement might be.

In conclusion, I said to you, “Just keep doing what you’re doing, and everything will be okay.”